Soul Mates

Tim-ing (n)
1.  The choice, judgment, or control of when something should be done.
2.  A particular point or period of time when something happens.

Timing controls our situational decisions.  What we do.  When we do it.  How we do it.  During the course of day-to-day life, our decisions are so immediate that we do not realize how much timing plays into its selection.  But what about relationships?

Does timing truly play a roll in the success or failure of a relationship?

When a relationship ends in a less than desirable manner for one or both parties, it is easy to say 'the timing was off' and lament that perhaps things will work out differently in the future.

Women tend to hold on to this belief.  We don't want to accept the fact that perhaps we gravitated toward another unavailable man or another mis-matched personality.  We don't want to take ownership of the fact that we [probably] allowed ourself to be manipulated again or that we ignored the warning signs.  It is definitely easier to just say "the timing was off."

Sometimes, though, the timing really is off.

Let's take a minute to think about the concept of a soul mate.

Soul Mate (n)
A person ideally suited to another person... or romantic partner.

From birth, we are engrained to believe that our 'soul mate' is the person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with - the person we are supposed to dedicate our love, compassion, understanding, patience, guidance, and support.  In short - the person we are supposed to marry.

When is society going to accept that this definition is just not true?  When is society going to look for the part of the definition dropped off by the ellipses?  ...as a close friend

A soul mate is SOMEONE you are ideally suited to go through life with.  This can absolutely be a friend.  Often, it is... but we don't see that.

So take stock of the relationships you currently hold.  Think about the people you confide in.  Those you laugh with, cry with, and support whole-heartedly.  Now think about your significant other.  Is this person one and the same?

I expect you will find it difficult to acknowledge that it is not.  But I am here to tell you that is okay.  It is perfectly acceptable to find the level of trust and innocence accepted by a 'soul mate' with a close friend.  Who knows?  Maybe that vulnerability will keep the spark alive in your romantic relationships.  Maybe...